Good Day Today

Just an exercise update:

1) 60 min Kinect Dance Central
2) 30 min Walking
Total: 90 min

Good Start!

It's Monday, day 3 of me exercising for the year. lol No computer at the house this morning my daughter took her laptop with her last night. My computer is now dead. Let my fellow internet junkies have a moment of silence. Seriously, you know that moment of panic when the computer shuts down out of no where. Your speeds up you may even have a slight twinge of pain. You take a deep breath, sigh stroke the tower a couple of times as if being nice to it will make it okay. You talk to it, tell it how important it is to you, cross your fingers and reboot. Nothing.....nada....just some fan inside blowing. Singing it's final swan song. Well, that's how it was for me. lol

So with nothing to occupy my time after my son left for school I decided to go for a walk. Got in the car drove to the area park and walked 40 min. I think it could have been longer but I was freezing. Proud of what i've done. Now I just need 20 more minutes to complete my 1 hour goal for the day.

Exercise log:
1) 40 min walk

Weigh In and Plan for the Week

I weighed in today. I'm at 410. That is a loss of 2.4 pounds for the week. Not bad but not good. I know I can do better than that. My plan is to get in at least one hour M-F. I did really well with this previously and would like to get back in it.

I've been trying my best to fight off depression. I've been hit with a lot in the last couple of months. Rebuilding your life is a task I wasn't sure I was up for. I've been so busy wallowing in my misery and hurt, I almost forgot who I am. How strong I am. How I've made it through things that could have taken other's down. Sometimes my sensitivity can get the better of me. I love deeply. When I love you, I will fight to the bitter end for you. Reality check is that not everyone is worth doing all that. Lesson learned! lol

So, I thought you'd like to know what i've learned about myself recently. Anyhoo, on to what i'm doing this week. 1 hour of exercise M-F. Yep, I said it. I've put it out there into the cyber world. Which means I have to do it. NO EXCUSES ALLOWED! This week WILL be on point! I'm in a challenge, on a team of about 18 women. I want to be the leader in pounds loss. I need my determination, motivation and desire to kick ass to propel me to success this week. What's that saying? "If you believe, you can achieve!" And i'm choosing to BELIEVE in me this week. Yeah, I said this week. Baby steps people. Baby steps.

Day 2 of Exercise? Maybe?

I ended up with 30 min yesterday. Not bad but it's a start. I'm not getting much sleep these days. Last night was no different. If I can get another 30 min in today i'll be happy with that. So it's day 2 of the 10 min increment plan.

1) 30 min Walk

10 min Thursday!

It's the 5th. It's 5:27am. Another restless night where my brain wouldn't shut off long enough for me to get some decent sleep. Break ups suck, if you're not the one doing the dumping! lol  Anyhoo, exercise has been a no go so far this year. Um, yeah. It's so hard to get going with that again once you stop. Last night I had my daughter pick up my Dance Central from my sister. She borrowed it over the holidays. It's the only workout that makes exercise fun for me. I can do it for an hour and the time flies by. Love it!

I'm going to be doing other exercises today as well in 10 min increments. I get easily overwhelmed thinking about working out. But I KNOW I can do 10 min of. I'll list everything I do today. Let's see how active I can be by bedtime. Remember anything I do is off of 4 hours of sleep so it's all good! lol

1) 10 min Kinect Dance Central
2) 20 min Kinect Dance Central

Total: 30 min

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

It's 2012! At midnight I felt like I just took a shower and washed away all the grime from 2011. lol A new year. A new start. A new me.

Bare with me. I'm all over the place on this. Very little sleep. I was going to rework it but it's how I'm feeling at the moment so there ya go. lol

I've spent a great deal of the last 8 years angry and hurt due to a dysfunctional relationship I was in. Always moody, down and depressed. Previous to that there were many, many years of depression. A girl doesn't get to almost 500 pounds loving herself and life. I've spent most of my life in a cocoon. Letting very little people in until I immersed myself into the Internet around 2002. I've found so many loving and understanding people over the years. Some of you  I've stuck to like glue other's have fallen to the way side a bit but I've loved them all in one way or another. They've embraced me, consoled me, laughed both with me and at me on occasion. Have shared some devastating and painful moments with me. They've allowed me to talk about myself incessantly. I like that part. lol Most importantly, they've allowed me into their lives. Made me feel sociable when I'm really not. Made me feel truly blessed and loved.

I hope the new year brings all of you many blessings, joy and peace of mind.

The 1st day of the year. What am I going to do for myself? You got it. Get my fat ass to the gym! lol I haven't been in a month. All wrapped up in my hurt feelings on how the breakup happened. I  had a moment of sadness at midnight not having a significant other anymore shedding some tears. Then my friend Monica wrote this to me on Facebook. Happy New Year beautiful!!! May God fill you with His blessings and everlasting love N peace ♥. It was what I needed to read. God did bless me by taking me out of the situation I was in. That move alone brought about some peace and showed me that He will love and care for me even when I'm not doing it for myself. Also a reminder that I better start loving myself more. No more dwelling on the past. It's time for action. 


Sistah girl is ready to for change!

2012 To Resolution or Not to Resolution

It's December 30th, almost that time to claim what you want to do for the New Year. Doesn't it feel weird how ready you feel the closer you get to the 1st. You have all the latest books you're going to read for motivation. But you never really get around to it. You get your binder ready so that you can log your meals and exercise. You're usually done with journaling by the 3rd week of January. "I'm going to eat healthier." Um, til maybe January 15th. "I'm going to exercise regularly." Sure, by February 1st you've done 20 min of exercise once per week. And don't get me started about joining a gym. We all know how that ends up. lol It's getting old. I know when you get this big you need a plan. But i'm all planned out right now. I'm taking it one day at a time. One meal at a time. So, no big dreaded "RESOLUTIONS" speech from me this year.

Something that is exciting however is that I joined a contest. 10 very lucky winners are going to have the opportunity to attend the Biggest Loser Fitness Ranch in Malibu for 4 weeks. I submitted my video and now the nail biting begins. I must have made at least 12 videos. I wasn't sure what to share, what emotions to share. Should I share something that will get me crying? Should I use my Sarcasm Super Power and make them laugh? I think I found middle ground. No tears were shed and I didn't say something to offend anyone. My Superpower has been known to backfire in the past and send people crying from the room. lol

I hope i'm able to make it. I can really use it right now. Time away to just work on myself. I spend so much of my life depressed or and helping others. It's time to reshuffle my priorities and put Ms Q as number one.

Wish me luck! And Vote for me!
https://apps.facebook.com/contestshq/contests/160284/voteable_entries/40736895

Let's get down to the Fat Roller  Coaster now. My heaviest recorded weight was 490 lbs. I'm sure I tipped the scale at 500 at one point. My current weight is 412 pounds. Wait! Hold your applause! It's taking me 8 years now to get to this point. That's a whole lot of back and forth. My lowest point was 388 before I lost my mojo and gave up yet again. 5 or 6 weeks ago I was at 442. My world was flipped upside down and i'm just not eating very much these days. Good for the scale bad for my body. Not eating is not a good way to do this. I know that. Every so often I can feel my fat going into starvation mode and eating itself my gut starts making some of the weirdest noises. I usually get up and feed myself something at that time.

With or without that Fitness ranch I need to figure out a healthy way to get this fat off my body.

Tune in next time.